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On craftiness and full disclosures

April 24, 2013

Right now, I’m pinned underneath a sleeping 6 month old. We think she’s teething, as she’s startled herself awake from three separate naps today. Since we’re desperately trying to get her into some kind of a sleeping rhythm after the constant disruptions of house remodeling prevented one for her first six months, I decided to take one for the team and be her human crib for as long as she needs to sleep this afternoon. It was cozy for the first 15 minutes; now that we’re at a full hour, various limbs are starting to fall asleep and I’ve had tons of time to ruminate on all the other things I could have accomplished in this time (or, for that matter, in the hours that she should have been napping this morning).

I’m fortunate that my parents are here this afternoon to help with my other kids, as this wouldn’t have been possible otherwise. Please note this sentence, we’ll return to it.

I’ve been following various bloggers’ creations for Kids’ Clothes Week over the past few days, and it’s all incredibly impressive. The creativity and skill out there is amazing and very inspiring to me. But at this particular stage in my life, I’m finding reading these blogs is also having a negative effect – it’s making me question my own self worth. I find myself comparing my accomplishments (or lack thereof) to someone else’s: thinking jealously, “she’s got a baby younger than mine and can whip out more in a couple of days than I have in a year. What’s wrong with me that I can’t even find an hour a day to sew?”

On the whole, I’m very grateful for the life I have, and realize that any inconveniences (read: total lack of time to myself these days) are the results of choices I’ve consciously made, and are also temporary. But, going back to that boldfaced sentence of mine, I wish we’d see a little more transparency in this generally wonderful community. I’d love to see more explanations of where a blog author’s kids are while they’re hand sewing their spring wardrobes. Grandparent’s house? Daycare? Playing underfoot? Not so I can judge other people, but so I can stop judging myself. It’s so easy to fall into the habit of thinking that the point in time blog posts showing someone’s smiling kids wearing their carefully made creations are another person’s whole world, rather than a carefully curated portion of it.

I’d love a little more full disclosure in the crafty blog world. More posts like this one from Girl’s Gone Child. Rock on, Girl, and thanks.

Anyone else out there feel the same way?

Baby’s awake, my time is up.

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